We publish the testimony of two young Ukrainians, the 16-year-old Katia and her little brother, collected by Lidia Liberman and Gianluigi Ricupirati
You know that feeling when it hurts? I once fell in love with a guy, but he didn’t fall in love with me and I thought he hurt.
But I found that other things really hurt: like seeing your mother die in front of you. And your brother continues to approach her and says to her: “Mom, don’t sleep, you’re freezing.” And the fact that we will never visit her grave.

Mom stayed in the dark, damp basement. We went to the bathroom, slept, ate leftovers in the same basement. And somehow Uncle Kolya caught a pigeon, it was probably the fifth or sixth day, we fried it and ate it. And then we all threw up.

Mom lasted until the very end, 3 days before our evacuation, then she died. I told my brother that she was sound asleep and she was not to be awakened. But I think he has it all figured out.

She knew that when our neighbor died, and we couldn’t take her out, and the body started to smell.

Then the situation calmed down and Uncle Kolya took her out, but as she walked she was blown up by a mine. Mom cried a lot. After Dad died, Uncle Kolya had become the closest person to our family.

Corpses stink so bad. They were everywhere. I covered my brother’s eyes with my mother’s scarf so he wouldn’t see them. As we ran, I was going to throw up several times.

I no longer believe in your God. If there were, we would not suffer so much. My mother has never done anything wrong. She never let Uncle Kolya sleep at home until they got married. She went to church. She often confessed. And so do I.

Uncle Kolya had even given up smoking. And your God took it anyway. I hate Russia. My mom’s brother lives there. Do you know what he told me on the phone today? “Katia? But which Katia? Girl, I don’t know you. Which war, which Katya? ” And then he wrote from an unknown number «Katia, don’t write to me. It is dangerous for me and my family. And anyway, we can’t help mum any more. “

I hate them! Was she her sister ?! How is it possible?

You know, I think I’ll go back to Mariupol. And he will live in the same place. And every time, on the same day, she will go down to the basement of a new house with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

Another scary thing is when babies cry, but you can’t. Because you can’t be heard. These monsters find people in basements and kill them. Some survivors said the Russian military carried out violence on children and the elderly and even corpses.

If there is a God, why does he allow it? I don’t want to live anymore. We will probably be divided. And I may never see my brother again. Because? Why did this Putin want to save us? We were fine, we even bought a car. Uncle Kolya promised to teach me how to drive. They even burned his car. And I don’t have a home anymore. I want to die, but I can’t.

Hug your children! Otherwise when you leave they won’t remember your smell. If I will endure all this and if one day I have children, I will hug them twenty-four hours a day …

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Philip Owell

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