JoKe oF the DAY!!! Updated every day I work

Sbenny.com is trusted by 1,313,873 happy users since 2014.
Register

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?" :dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
*Knock Knock*

Me - Who is it?
Stranger - Its the Police!

Me - What do you want?
Police - We want to talk with you.

Me - How many of you are there?
Police - Just two of us.

Me - Talk to each other.
:dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: a meowntain

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
:dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Blowjobs For Money A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!" :dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you. :dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation. :dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Momma JOKES WOOT WOOT!!!

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals.
:dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. “Howdy, stranger,” one Texan says. “Where are you from?”

The Oxford graduate answers, “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” replies the Texan. “Where are you from, jackass?” :dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Glad I could bring people happiness through ridiculous jokes!
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Im hiding some of the jokes from now on in hopes that yall will post some of your own jokes that i can read :)
Have a great day everyone!!!! :dinodance:

How does NASA throw a party?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
Do rabbits use combs?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
What do geologists do on their free time?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
What did the dollar say to the four quarters?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
Where do sheep get a hair cut?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
What does a pickle say when it wants to enter a poker game?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
Why weren't the tennis players allowed in the restaurant?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
What shoes do frogs wear in the summer?
🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
This is a joke that i've know for a LONGGGG time!!!!

This not so very nice Guy was walking down the street randomly gets hit by a car and goes right down to Hell. He is kinda sad and trod-ding along when the Devil comes along to speak with him.

Devil - Hey Bud, why do you look so sad?
Guy - Well im in Hell, How else am I supposed to feel?
Devil - Its not that bad. You like to drink?
Guy - Yea I drink a little.
Devil - Ohh!! You will love Mondays. We get drunk as F**K! You smoke?
Guy - Yea ive been know to hit it some times.
Devil - Bro we get High as a mug on Wednesdays. You gay?
Guy - No.....
Devil - Ohhhh......your gonna hate Fridays.
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

🔒 Hidden content
You need to Register or Login in order to view this content. Since you're viewing the AMP-accelerated version of our website which doesn't store login cookies, please scroll to the bottom of this page and click on the "View Non-AMP Version" button first, thanks!
:dinodance:
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
:dinodance: Corny Jokes :dinodance:
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
 

Flsurfer06

Savage Lv6️⃣
VIP
Active User
Member for 7 years
*Me in everyday life* :?:

"How do you do?"
"How do I do what?"
"I mean, how do you find yourself?"
"Don't be silly. I never lose myself."
"You don't understand. How do you feel?"
"With my fingers, of course. Haven't you got anything better to do than bother me with stupid questions?" :dinodance:
 
Top